Getting to Work on Childcare II: Take the Daycare or In-Home Care Route?

In the world of parenting, there are a number of very obvious topics that elicit polarizing opinions. Some Facebook groups and parenting blogs have become breeding grounds for well-intentioned people to justify their own decisions while inadvertently belittling those that belong to someone else. Selecting a childcare model that best suits the needs of an individual family has at times joined the ranks of hot topics amongst parents.

As I mentioned in my introduction to this series, I have barely achieved Honorable Mention status when it comes to gold star parenting so I won’t even pretend to know the developmental benefits of sending your child to daycare or having them cared for by a nanny or au pair. I fundamentally believe that the most important quality of your childcare solution is it unequivocally provides you with the comfort of knowing your child is in a loving and safe environment. However, there are some more objective factors to consider when choosing a model that meets the needs of each individual family. In many cases, we don’t recognize the relevance of these other components until we are knee deep into a solution and then have to make adjustments.

Remote Working: Even before the COVID-19 pandemic drove people to set up home offices with card tables and empty Amazon boxes, remote work was a reality for 20% of US adults. While many working parents regard remote work as key to balancing their personal and professional priorities, for some jobs, it is the only option. The qualities of a virtual work environment can play a role in whether an in-home childcare provider is the best option for a specific family. Without physical boundaries between the parent’s workspace and the children’s playspace, there are obvious household distractions that can impede a parent’s ability to focus. While there may be ways to tune out the noise, the lack of dedicated space can also present more subtle challenges like having a toddler attempt to pull you into every encounter that does not go their way. Even parents who wear the best noise-cancelling headphones on the planet may struggle to take a 10 minute mental health break if they have to walk past their child and nanny to get to the fresh air. Of course, some people have a high capacity to work through the chaos and some basic rules can help mitigate the impacts. However, as you contemplate hiring an in-home care provider or checking out daycare facilities, think about how your home set up will factor into your day to day routines. 

Schedules: Shortly after I first returned to work after my son was born, I had a conversation with a physical therapist who picked up her son every day at 3:00PM from daycare because that is when her shift ended. She left for work at 6:00AM and her husband, who worked from home, dropped their son off at daycare at 8:00AM. He was also available to pick up their son anytime he was sick. Their childcare situation seemed ideal for their family and, since the daycare was open until 6:00PM, it even allowed her the opportunity to run errands before picking him up. Around the same time, another set of friends announced they were moving their son out of daycare and hiring a nanny. Neither parent had jobs that could be performed virtually and, after a year of scrambling for back-up help anytime their child got sick, they decided to hire an in-home care provider. Months later, they lamented about how much less stressful their childcare situation had become since making a change that better fit their schedules. Schedules play a large role in deciding what childcare model is best for a family. It is important to consider work day start and end times or whether one parent has the flexibility to leave the office on the occasions when something comes up- and things will always come up. Oftentimes, day care centers follow the calendar of the local public school which can be ideal for some families and a nightmare if it does not align to the parents’ work schedule. Unfortunately, this challenge is exacerbated for parents who work non-traditional work hours. While some employers provide their employees with back up care options if their primary care provider is unavailable, most families are left figuring this out on their own and need to go into the selection process with their eyes wide open. 

Proximity: Whether your commute to work is 10 minutes or 60 minutes, the distance between your home and office may play a role in determining a child care model. Years ago, a friend worked 50 minutes away from her home and chose a daycare facility that was near her office. She was a bit apprehensive about commuting with a baby but there weren’t any accredited daycare centers near her house. She contemplated getting a nanny but wanted the flexibility to visit the baby during her lunch hour and the daycare near her office allowed her that chance. Another woman worked a few minutes away from her home but all the nearby daycare centers were run by faith-based institutions where preference for slots is given to church members. Since she did not get a slot, she had to choose between driving further away to find a daycare center or hiring a nanny. She did not find the additional commute time financially or logistically desirable and decided to hire an in-home childcare provider. As families evaluate available childcare options, it is important to consider how the proximity between the home, the office and the potential daycare centers will impact your day to day routines. By playing out different scenarios, a family can settle on what options would be least disruptive to their schedules and most conducive to their family dynamics and budget. 

Discussions around remote working, schedules and proximity to care are indeed very relevant to many working professionals. However, a promise I made in my first blog was to acknowledge where there are limits to my observations. Across the country there are scores of families who live in daycare deserts where there are three or more children for each licensed child care slot. Low and middle income families are more likely to live in childcare deserts, and until there are more affordable, licensed options available, not everyone will have the luxury of taking all factors into consideration when deciding on a childcare model that works best for their family. In a future blog post, we will take a closer look at policies that are being evaluated to address the disparity gap. Creating childcare options that meet the needs of all families is fundamental to creating equity in our society, to maintaining a strong economy and to our basic obligation to look out for one another.